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  Z 28 - Wrecks From the Highway
By Full Moon Fanzine - Cousin Fritz submitted

Gee, Elmer, I felt I should warn y´all, and yer kin too, ´bout some shit-kickin´ hot-roddin no-goodniks that are kickin´ ass hereabouts. They´ve got this album, "Wrecks From The Highway" that they´re peddlin´ to the local merchants. Don´t let Billy-Bob hear about it, you know what he was like when he listened to The Cramps; if he hears this he´ll start building a flying saucer in a crop circle. If a bit of moonshine-tinged rockabilly can have him digging up Uncle Esther under a full moon, this album will have him fornicating buck-naked on top of a hot-rod! All them songs about vampires, U.F.O.´s, guns´n´girls, the F.B.I. (say hello to Cousin Franklin), and all sortsashit; goddammit, they´re weirdos! They´ve been listening to them no-good Rezillos and that dog-darned Legendary Stardust Cowboy, and someone give them some ´go-blind-for-a-day´ moonshine. Then they let them in one of them new-fangled re-cording studios, and the next thing ya know, we´ve another god-danged elvis thang on our hands. And you know what happened last time. This is the devil´s music, and we should buy every copy from every store, and burn them all on a big bonfire.I mean, just look at their songs, all about ´lights in the sky´ and all that mumbo-jumbo, The Good Lord never wanted us to rock´n´roll, we should be in church right now! But they´re in a deserted barn, surrounded by hot-rods, watching B-movies like "Texas Chainsaw Massacre", "Plan 9 From Outer Space" and "Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes", drinking moonshine, and havin´ a hoedown with Gene Vincent and Sid Vicious. They even sample Wolfman Jack, ferchrissakes! Ah´m tellin´ ya, boy, when I see yer Mom (or yer Aunt, yer sister, whatever....), Ah´m gonna get her ta get her fat , lazy ass ta round up every copy of this offence against The Good Lord, and burn ´em all in a huge holy bonfire. Once her tush is outta the trailer, we´ll round up every copy of this re-cording, before it corrupts every God fearing, goat-fuckin´, cousin-marrying, shit-kickin, red-necked football scholar-ship-riding country boy in yhe whole damn county. Hey, maybe Jerry Springer´ll do a special on it! Cousin Fritz

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